


We can never say je t'amie

by FandomFanfics



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: AU, Hamilton - Freeform, Hamilton the musical, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-06-08 20:22:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6872080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomFanfics/pseuds/FandomFanfics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(I've wanted to write a HamLaf fanfic for a while now, but haven't really gotten around to it. I however, got started now.)</p><p>This is an AU and it takes place somewhere in the 2010's. George Washington is not the president, but him and his wife adopted Alexander when he was 6 years old. They have always been close friends with the Laf Fayette family for a long period of time and Alexander and Marquis quickly became close friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 10 years of living with the Washingtons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. First chapter, I hope you enjoy!

Alexander was sitting under the old pear tree in the garden of his French friends. The Washington's had brought him along, every time they visited their French friends since they had adopted him, which is 10 years ago today. They had celebrated his 10 years of living with the Washingtons in France, where they were visiting the La Fayette family. They had known Alex since he was 6. The Frenchmen's son, Lafayette and the young American, had quickly grown very attached. Alexander always longed to see his friend and the feeling was mutual. But, the visits had been few the last years, as both families had been extremely busy. Instead of the regular visits, they had not seen each other for 3 years. Sure, they had sent each other letters and messages, but they missed being able to actually talk to each other.

Alexander was awoken from his trail of thoughts, when the taller French teen sat down beside him.

 "Did you enjoy the party, _mon ami_?" Lafayette asked the younger teen. Alexander nodded in response, but then shook his head shortly.

"Sorry, where are my manners? Yes, the party was quite nice." The American teen answered with a short smirk.

"Only nice?" The older asked, lightly raising an eyebrow.

A small chuckle escaped Alexander's lips. "No, it was great, Laff." He answered with a smirk. The party had marked his last day in France and his last day with Laff, which saddened him quite a bit. They had stayed for a week and the Washingtons had decided, that one week was enough. They had work to do, after all and there was no way they would let Alex stay.

 "What is wrong, little Alex?" The older teen asked, softly squeezing Alex' shoulder.

 Alex shook his head shortly, a sigh escaping his lips. "It's nothing, Laff. I'm fine." He answered. He lowered his gaze, as his fingers started picking at the grass.

" _Non_ , you are not." Lafayette said, turning slightly towards Alexander.  "What is wrong, Alexander?" He asked.

Alexander shruged shortly. "I don't know what you mean." He said, feeling ashamed to be sad. He just didn't want to leave. He didn't want to leave _him,_ which was something he never could tell anybody.

"Please, Alex." The Frenchman said, softly grabbing his arm. "I do not want you to feel bad." He added, wanting his friend to tell him what was happening in his brain.

"I just don't want to leave and have to go back to my responsibilities." He murmured. It was not completely true, but it was not a complete lie either.

"I understand, _mon ami_ , but you cannot stay in France forever." Marquis said softly, gently giving his friend's arm a small squeeze. He understood, that this wasn't what Alexander meant, that it wasn't his real reason, but he also knew that none of them could ever say aloud what the real reason was.

Alexander nodded. "I know, Laf. I know..." He trailed of, a sigh escaping his lips.

None of them said anything for a while and somehow both ended up on their backs in the soft, tall grass. Alexander had closed his eyes, enjoying the sound of his friends' relaxed breathing and heartbeat and the soft rustling of the trees every time a small wind blew. Lafayette's gaze studied the younger teen for a while, until he turned his gaze to the sky, not knowing what to say to comfort Alexander. He wanted his friend to be alright, but there was nothing he could do.

"Don't you think it's time you two head to bed?" Alexander's father asked. (At least, that was how he thought of him. He had never called him this, though, as he didn't know how he would have reacted)

Alexander opened his eyes shortly after, blinking a couple of times. " _Non_ , Mr. Washington. I don't think any of us are able to move." Lafayette said, as both of them had almost fallen asleep.

A gentle chuckle left George's lips. "Is that so?" He asked, as he kneeled beside the two teens.

" _Oui._ " Lafayette answered, already having closed his eyes again.

"Care to join us?" Alexander asked, having one eye open.

"No, sorry, son. Martha and I are heading to bed. Please don't stay up all night, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow." He said.

Alex sat up shortly to hug George goodnight. "Bid Martha goodnight from me, please?" He asked.

"Of course. Goodnight Alexander, Lafayette." He added, before he left.

Lafayette waved shortly, before letting a small sigh leave his lips. "Are you still going to write me letters and messages, _mon ami_?" He asked, not wanting to lose contact with his younger friend.

Alexander nodded shortly. "Of course, how could I not?" He asked, a gentle chuckle leaving his lips. He couldn't imagine a life without the Frenchman.

Lafayette answered with a small smirk, as they settled into silence again. Both of them enjoying the soft sound of the other's heartbeat and breath.

Both of them were almost asleep, as a lighting teared through the sky. A shocked gasp escaped Alexander's lips, as the sound of thunder rumbled through the silence.  Both of the teens sat up in sync and looked up at the now clouded sky.

A few raindrops hit Alex's cheek and the rain started pouring in no time. Lafayette was quickly up on his feet, as he grabbed his friend by the hand and gently pulled him to his feet as well. "Way to ruin a perfect slumber." He said with a small laugh.

He earned a small chuckle from Alexander, who then answered; "You don't say."

Lafayette released his hand, after making sure that his friends was alright. He faintly remembered Alexander's fear of lightings and thunder from the past.

The two of them headed inside as fast as possible, however,  both were soaked through in no time.

"We should go change. Let's meet in my room, _oui_?" The Frenchman whispered.

" _Oui._ " Alexander answered, as he made his way up the stairs as silently as possible. He made his way into his room, where he removed his wet clothes with great difficulty. He changed into a pair of black pants and a white shirt. Nothing fancy, but he figured he was going to bed soon anyway.  He tied his wet hair into a loose bun, as he walked down the stairs again. He made his way over the wooden floor as quietly as possible, as he gently knocked on Lafayette's door.

" _Oui,_ come on in." Lafayette said through the door. Alexander opened the door to quite a sight. Lafayette seemed to be stuck in his shirt. Alexander couldn't help but lower his gaze to his trained torso. He shook his head shortly. _No, he couldn't._

"Are you okay there?" He asked, trying his best not to look at his friend's way too distracting body. He knew he shouldn't and he knew that it was wrong.

"I think I'm stuck. Could I get some help, _mon ami_?" The older teen asked. He seemed completely comfortable with the situation, which irritated Alexander quite a lot. How could he just stand there, stuck in his shirt, not caring that his younger friend saw him like that. It frustrated him, somehow.

"Sure." He answered, although having no idea what to do. However, he ended up pulling at his shirt carefully. The two teenagers finally got Lafayette out of his wet shirt after a short battle.

"Thank you, little Alex." Lafayette said with a smug smirk, that Alex really just wanted to wipe off his face. How he would do that was the question, though.

Alexander simply ended up nodding shortly. "Sure." He said, as he sat down in one of the chairs, as he waited for Lafayette to change into a new shirt.

Lafayette sat down beside him shortly after. "I still do not get why the Washingtons wants to waste such a long journey only to stay here for such a short time." He said, trying to keep up a conversation after the slightly awkward situation a couple of minutes ago.

Alexander shrugged shortly. "Me neither, but I believe they are pretty busy... As always." He answered.

Lafayette simply nodded, lightly resting his chin against the back of the chair. "Do you think we will see each other again soon, Alex?" He asked. 

A sigh escaped Alex's lips. This was the exact conversation that he had hoped to avoid, because he honestly didn't know. "I don't know, Laf. What do you think?" He asked, looking at the older teen.

Lafayette smirked shortly, before shaking his head. "I want to believe that we'll visit Amercia again soon. But, _mére_ and _papa_ has been pretty busy as well." He answered, feeling a bit defeated. He really wanted to believe, but the likelihood of seeing Alexander again soon was very small.

"I just wish there was another way..." Alexander trailed off. He couldn't stand the thought of not seeing his friend for 3 years. _Again_

"Yes, so do I, _mon ami_." Lafayette answered with a defeated sigh.

The two young men settled into silence again, none of them knowing what to say. Alexander wanted to suggest, that Lafayette could come stay with them for a while, but he didn't. He was afraid to say something wrong. Afraid to lose his friend. Lafayette wanted to tell him, that they would visit soon, that he would make his parents say yes, but he didn't either.

"I should go to bed, we're leaving early, after all." Alexander spoke up after a while

Lafayette nodded shortly. "You probably should." He answered, as the two teens got up from the chairs. "Goodnight, little Alex." He said, as he gave him a quick hug.

"I'm not small, Laf." He huffed, earning a small laugh from the Frenchman.

"Of course not, big guy. Get some rest. I will see you tomorrow morning, yes?" The older teen said.

The two of them headed to bed shortly after, however none of them able to sleep as they thought about the next morning. Alexander didn't want to leave and Lafayette didn't want him to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Mon ami - my friend  
> Non - no  
> Oui - yes  
> Mére - mother  
> Papa - father


	2. Night time at the Lafayette's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Lafayette sneaks into Alexander's room late at night, because he can't seem to fall asleep?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wauw. It's been rather long since I updated this fic, I'm really sorry about that. I'm currently in the middle of my exams, but I'll try to post another chapter sometime during the next week. I hope you enjoy!

Alexander had almost fallen asleep, when he heard someone sneak into his room. He awoke completely, as he heard Lafayette call out his name quietly.

 "Yeah?" He said, voice rough from not sleeping. He turned on the bedside lamp, as he sat up. His eyes adjusted to the sudden light in the room after a short second and he looked up at the Frenchman, confused.

" _Pardon_ , I didn't think, that you had fallen asleep." Lafayette said, as he carefully sat down on the edge of the bed.

 Alexander shook his head a couple of times. "No, you didn't wake me up. It's okay." He said with a gentle smirk.  

"Okay." Lafayette answered, still not convinced that he hadn't awoken the younger teen.

"Are you okay, Laff?" Alexander asked, realizing that showing up in your friend's bedroom late at night wasn't really a regular thing to do.

Lafayette shrugged shortly. "I'm gonna miss you, Alex." He said, his voice almost a whisper. He had missed the young American so much and now that Lafayette had finally spend time with him again, he had to leave.

Alexander swallowed shortly, nodding carefully. "I'm really gonna miss you too..." He admitted, a sigh escaping his lips. Lafayette meant a lot to him and he really wasn't ready to leave him behind and go back to the U.S.

"Please, don't say that." The older teen said, with his back turned to the American. He didn't want Alexander to feel bad for leaving France, when he had got nothing to say.

"Why? It's true, Laff. The fact is, we might not be able to see each other for another 3 years." Alexander answered, starting to get slightly angry. Not with Lafayette, but his foster parents. He didn't understand why they wouldn't let him stay another week.

" _Oui_ , I know _mon cher,_ Alexander. But, what are we supposed to do? What can we even do?" He asked, seemingly as angry as the younger teen.

Alexander answered with a short shrug. "I don't know. I'm out of ideas." He murmured. He had been thinking about this since the party ended. He didn't want to go and his mind had been set on all possible and impossible ideas, but he knew that it wouldn't help the slightest.

"That doesn't look like you." Lafayette said with a gentle laugh, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

Alexander chuckled shortly as well. "I just wish there was a way, Laff." He said, suddenly very serious again.

Lafayette nodded, understanding what his friend meant. "I know, so do I Alex. I won't promise anything, but I'll try to convince my parents to let me go to the U.S. when my summer break starts. Okay?" He asked softly.

Alex looked at him in surprise. He had never thought his friend would offer something like that. He nodded shortly, letting this new information process in his brain. Marquis de Lafayette would convince his parents to let him visit the _him_. "Really?" He asked, still not quite believing what he just heard.

" _Oui_ , _mon ami_. I cannot promise anything, though. " The French teen answered. He'd love to go, but he knew that convincing his parents wouldn't be easy. They had had a family holiday tradition to go to Italy for the first two weeks of the summer break. However, Lafayette would rather visit Alexander.

A small chuckle escaped Alexander's lips, still not quite believing his own ears. He simply nodded, as he didn't know what to answer. " _Merci,_ Laffayette." He said softly, as this was the only thing he could think of saying.

The older teen finally turned towards him, a small smirk on his lips. "I know it's a lot to ask, but... Can I stay here?" He carefully asked. He was ready to be rejected, but he simply had to ask.

Alexander moved to the opposite side of the bed, making room for the French teen. The other took that as enough of an answer and crawled under the duvet. A small yawn escaped his lips, as Alexander turned off the light. None of them said anything for a while, both their minds racing away. They knew there was no going back from this. They were now sharing a bed and quite a small one too. What would they tell their parents the next morning? Perhaps they wouldn't care. Lafayette hoped they wouldn't and so did Alexander.

"Alex?" Lafayette asked, almost a whisper. He simply wanted to know if his friend had fallen asleep.

"Hmm." Alexander simply murmured, half asleep, half awake. His thoughts had brought him into a trance, where  he revaluated their whole relationship. Was this going somewhere else than friends or was this the custom for his French friend and if so, was he the one who read more into this, than it really was?

The French teen smirked shortly at his answer, as he turned on his side, facing the younger teen. "Thank you for coming, really. I've missed your company." He said, as his eyes scanned the dark for the younger teen's.

He nodded. "The pleasure is mine." He answered gently, as their eyes locked in the dark.

Lafayette could have sworn, that tears had started forming in the younger teens eyes, but he didn't ask, as the younger teen clearly tried to conceal them. " _Non_ , really. I'm glad the Washingtons finally decided to visit again." He murmured, as a yawn escaped his lips.

"So am I, Laff. It's been great." The American teen said, a small yawn escaping his lips as well. _Great, but short._ He didn't want to leave.

The two teens ended up falling asleep shortly after, both exhausted after a long day.

 

The young American was awoken the next morning by a hand softly shaking his shoulder. "Alexander? Good morning. We're running a bit late, you need to get up." George's voice said softly, not even commenting on the fact that Alex was snuggled against Lafayette's shoulder, he was simply trying not to wake up the French teen.

Alexander yawned softly. "Yeah, yeah. I'll be up in a minute." He murmured, carefully rubbing his face. George left the room shortly after, letting the teen wake up.  Alex was surprised, really. He had expected to get a ton of comments, but George seemed to find the situation completely normal. He was grateful.

Alex carefully tried to remove himself from the older teen, but with no luck. A small huff escaped the half asleep Lafayette's lips, as Alexander started to move and the younger teen slapped a hand over his mouth, trying not to laugh.  Alex now sat up, not trying as hard not to wake the other up, as he was almost awake anyway.

"Good morning." Alexander murmured, to which Lafayette's response was turning from his back to his stomach, burying his face in the pillow. Alex wanted badly to go back to sleep  as well, but he knew he couldn't.

He carefully got out of bed, letting the French teen sleep in. He'd prefer if Lafayette didn't wake up at all, as he wouldn't have to say goodbye. He looked at the older teen shortly and then started putting on his clothes. A simply pair of pants and a graphic tee. Nothing special, but it suited him anyway.   


Alexander was about to leave his room, when the French teen spoke up. "Alex? Don't leave yet." He said, extending his arm towards him. Alex hesitantly took his extended hand in response and was quickly pulled back into bed.

"You don't have to get up yet, anyway."  He added. Alex knew he had hurried way more than George wanted him to, but he didn't want to wake up the young Frenchman.

"I know.. I just didn't want to wake you up." He murmured softly in response, as he turned to his side and faced the older teen.

Lafayette smirked shortly. "Thank you, but I know that you were about to try to leave without saying goodbye and my parents would have agreed to letting me sleep." He said, a small hint of sadness in his voice. He didn't want to say goodbye, but he didn't want Alexander to leave without it.

"Why would they agree?" Alexander asked, raising his eyebrow shortly. He didn't quite get it. He would have come up with a lie. He would have said something the lines of; 'I said goodbye, Lafayette is really tired, so I let him go back to sleep'.

"Because, little Alex _,_ I am not sleeping very well." The older teen said with a soft sigh, as he turned onto his back, placing his arms behind his head, starring at the ceiling after his confession.

Alexander swallowed shortly. "I see." He murmured, not really knowing what to answer. He really wished, that he could help him out, but he also knew that he would be too far away very soon.

" _Pardon._ " Lafayette said, barely a whisper. He figured, that what he had said was too personal.

"No, Laff. No. Don't be.... I wish I could help." The younger teen said softly, as his hand grasped gently around the older teens arm.

After lying in bed for a couple more minutes, both of them got up. They went to Lafayette's room, where the French teen quickly pulled on a pair of black pants and a grey shirt. The two of them joined their parents at the breakfast table shortly after.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Oui - Yes  
> Mon cher - Min kære  
> Mon ami - min ven  
> Merci - Thank you  
> Non - No  
> Pardon - Sorry


	3. Going back to America

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the Washingtons and Alexander's last day in France. Is it gonna be difficult to say goodbye? Of course...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I knew that I promised another chapter by the end of the week and I'm really sorry that I haven't posted anything. I hope you guys enjoy!

After a quick breakfast, the Washingtons and their foster son gathered their stuff and got ready to say goodbye to their French friends. The parents had left Alexander and Lafayette alone for a moment, giving them time to say goodbye to each other.

The two were sat under the same, old pear tree, as they had been sat under the evening before. None of them said anything, the silence saying enough as it was.

Lafayette was the first to break the silence. He'd wanted Alex to say something, but he obviously wasn't intending to do so.

"Alex..." He said, trailing off, as he didn't know what to say. He simply wanted to break the silence, and so he did.

Alexander picked at the grass softly, but looked up when the older teen spoke up. "Yes?" He answered, barely a whisper. He felt like his insides where being pulled apart bit from bit. He didn't want to leave his friend behind. And, he didn't want to go back to responsibility.

"I wish I knew what to say, _mon ami._ " Lafayette spoke softly, because he honestly did not know what he could say. He wanted to comfort Alexander, but he didn't know how. He wanted to tell the younger, that their paths would cross again soon. But, would they? Really?

"Yes, so do I." Said Alexander, lowering his gaze again. He wanted badly to hide the tears that started to sting in his eyes. He felt sad, sad that there was nothing he could do to make the Washingtons change their mind upon going home.

" _Mon cher,_ don't be sad. I am sure we will see each other soon." The French man attempted, however failing as he didn't believe his own words. They wouldn't see each other for a long while and he knew that. They were all too caught up living their own lives in separate countries, to find the time to  visit each other.

"You don't even believe that, Laff." Alexander answered, shortly hiding his face in his hands, in order to blink away the tears. He wanted to stay strong and to believe, that he'd see the other again soon. But, everything seemed hopeless and impossible.

"Alexander, please." Lafayette said, shortly shaking his head. He wanted to believe, but he didn't. - "I'm gonna miss you." He then said, trying to lead the subject away from the next time they'd see each other. That is, if they are going to, of course.

"I'm gonna miss you too." The American teen said, trying his hardest not to let the tears spill.

They were interrupted shortly after, by a soft voice. "Boys? We have to leave now." Martha spoke gently, as she could see how much the two teens were hurting. She wanted to tell them, that they'd see each other soon, but she knew that it was mostly impossible too. Both her and George were extremely busy people and it seemed no different with Lafayette's parents.

Alexander responded with a simple nod. He didn't know what to say. 'Sure, I'm just gonna finish crying?' Martha offered him a small smile, before she left, leaving Alex and Lafayette alone for a moment, giving them a minute to finish their goodbyes.

"So, this is it?" Lafayette asked with a sad laugh leaving his lips. He didn't want his friend to go. He knew it'd be awhile until he'd see Alexander again, if he was actually going to.

"It seems like it is, doesn't it?" Alex asked, having gone back to picking softly at the grass, avoiding to actually look at Lafayette.

"Well, it has been fun little Alex." Lafayette said softly, smirking has he did.

Alex nodded shortly. "It definitely has been."

The two boys gave each other a rather long hug, before they parted and Alexander left the French teen under the old pear tree.

 

Lafayette waved goodbye in the driveway and Alexander knew, that this was the last he'd see to him in the next long while. When the cab turned the first corner, tears started spilling out Alexander's eyes. He hid his face in his hands, not wanting to give away what he believed to be his weakness, his strong love for his friend.

He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder, pulling him towards themselves. He was pretty certain, that whoever was hugging him, was crying too, as their whole body shook.

"Alexander, my child. Don't cry." Martha's gentle voice whispered in his ear and he knew, he knew that she was crying. He knew that she was the one hugging him close. _She was sad too._

"I'm sorry." He whispered, hiding his face in her shoulder. He felt weak, like a deer in the headlights. Like, someone had figured out his greatest weakness and was now going to use it against him somehow.

"No, my dear. I'm sorry." She said, her hands trembling slightly, as she wrapped her arms tightly around the crying teen in her arms. She understood. She knew, that Alexander and Lafayette shared something special and it broke her heart to know, that the two teens might not see each other ever again.

When the three arrived at the airport, Alexander carefully unwrapped himself from Martha's arms, his eyes bloodshot and face stained with tears. His hair was a mess and he genuinely felt like his life was too. Martha offered a small smirk of encouragement, however this did not help at all.

When he left the cab, he was greeted by George, who quickly pulled both Alexander and Martha into a hug and held on as if his life depended. He couldn't stand to see his family like this. Sad.

After a short moment, they let go of each other, all of them giving a short, sad smirk. They grabbed their luggage and walked to the check-in in silence, none of them knowing what to say. It was on both foster parents' minds and they wish that they could say it aloud. They wish, that they could help Alex to feel better, but they couldn't. They knew how much the young Frenchman meant to their Alexander and words wouldn't help.

 

After having checked in and passed through security, the small family had settled down in the terminal, simply waiting to board. Alexander hadn't said anything since his apology and didn't plan to do so. His mind was raising a million miles an hour, trying to come up with a reason for the Washingtons to stay. He knew, that no argument he had would be valid and so he kept his mouth shut.

When they started boarding, his heart started raising at the realisation, that he wouldn't see Lafayette for possibly a long time. He wanted to run and hide like a kid and it seemed like Martha noticed, because she grabbed his hand firmly, however giving it a soft squeeze. She looked at him for a second with a small smirk, before her attention was turned towards the flight attendant. Alexander simply followed the two adults to their seats and fell against the seat near the window. He immediately put in his headphones to block out the people around him talking, but more than anything else, his own thoughts. The overly happy melody of Hollywood Undead's bullet started playing, however, he didn't feel sad as he usually listened to the song lyrics. He just felt... Empty, and that scared him like hell. 

Alexander had fallen asleep shortly after, exhausted from crying and the lack of sleep. His head fell against George's shoulder and even if he wanted to, he couldn't move to the other side, as he was fast asleep. He had a nightmare as usual, but it had come to a point where it didn't affect him as much as it once did and so he slept for most of the flight, not wanting to wake up to reality. He'd rather have nightmares haunt him, than to wake up to the fact that he was going back to the US.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Mon ami - My friend  
> Mon cher - My dear


End file.
